


traduttori, traditori

by AlexSeanchai



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrinette | Adrien Agreste/Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Eventual Romance, F/M, Introspection, Ladynoir | Adrien Agreste as Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng as Ladybug, Miscommunication, Podfic Welcome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-28
Updated: 2019-06-28
Packaged: 2020-05-28 08:15:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19390129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexSeanchai/pseuds/AlexSeanchai
Summary: The Italian phrase most often rendered in English as "translators, traitors" loses, as Robert Frost said, its poetry when carried across from language to language: the English phrase lacks the consonance of the Italian; where either Italian word could take the place of the other in any poem without the metrical rhythm faltering, one English word is dactylic, the other a trochee.There are five love languages: words, acts, gifts, time, touch.





	1. what is lost in translation

Look, their first meeting wasn't exactly the pinnacle of grace and poise, and apologies were definitely due afterward—and Chat Noir isn't even talking about Ladybug when he says this, no matter what she might believe. But the way they crashed into each other and got tangled up together can't have bothered her _that_ badly, can it?

The first fistbump was Ladybug's idea. He's pretty sure. And then she offered him a hand up when Stormy Weather sent him pinballing down the lane, and—okay, yes, trying to kiss her hand so early in their acquaintance was too much too soon. But she poked him in the nose and said "no time" instead of simply pulling away and saying "no", and—she would have tackled anyone out of the way of that lightning, yes, but anyone _else_ , she would have kicked off her the moment they stopped moving. Right?

And now she's always leaning on his shoulder and ringing his bell and sometimes even holding his hand.

Some of it's purely professional, of course. If, for instance, they need a height they can both see Paris from, Chat Noir balances on one end of his tower-height staff and Ladybug balances on Chat Noir: that's just practical. If that were all it were, he would file it in the same box as anyone doing his fittings or his makeup when Adrien's about to do a runway or a photoshoot, though (unlike in those cases) neither of them is getting paid.

And Nino and Marinette both touch Adrien pretty often too. Though he knows Marinette might do so more than she actually wants to (part because Alya pushes her into it, part because she's uncoordinated and Adrien would rather she crash into him than the floor), Adrien knows that's just how they both _are_ , because they touch each other and Alya pretty often too. That's about Nino's limit outside family members, Adrien thinks, but Marinette's hands-on with nearly everyone she knows and likes even a little, and he thinks the exceptions are the ones who, like Nino with most people, would rather she not.

If Ladybug were like that, Chat would know that whenever she is not strictly professional with him, she is simply being friendly. But—

Ladybug touches Chat Noir more often in a typical hour they're together than anyone else touches Adrien in a typical week. Some of that physical contact is only Ladybug doing her job—and knowing that, he tries not to get carried away by the sheer breathless joy of it—but _only_ some: as far as he can tell, when Ladybug touches _anyone_ else, it's wholly professional.

Of course Ladybug loves Chat Noir. Why does she keep saying otherwise?

* * *

Adrien loves Marinette. In a platonic sort of way, though (as with Kagami) he kind of hates that he has to specify that to himself. But in some ways he has a more romantic relationship with Marinette than with Ladybug, and he thinks he has had from the moment they met. Even while he was trying to figure out how to salvage her first impression of him without lying that he had nothing to do with Chloé or the gum, even while he was miserably realizing he'd ruined his chances at being friends with her (or with anyone who didn't like Chloé) just by already being friends with Chloé—Marinette didn't care what this stranger thought of her, and she wasn't afraid to let him know that. Adrien's awed by that courage.

And he admits it took a while to acknowledge this, but Adrien knows a romantic meet-cute when he sees one. By then he'd fallen headlong for Ladybug, of course, so _of course_ Plagg's 'lovebirds' remark sounded joking, a deliberate misreading of the scene. And Marinette has never said anything to suggest _she_ thinks of Adrien in a romantic way. Quite the contrary, really: she's a fan of his work and his father's, and he's a friend of hers she likes to look at. That's all. Which is good, because if she felt romantically about him, that could get awkward in a hurry. Not that it hasn't _been_ awkward, but he has been doing his best to get her comfortable enough with him she knows she _doesn't_ have to worry he thinks anything less than the world of her, and to tell her at every opportunity that he really does think the world of her, and none of that has anything to do with her romantic desire for him because she simply doesn't _have_ any.

(Chat Noir's different. And why is Marinette the only one who's ever told Chat she loves him, anyway? Max's big gay crush doesn't count because Max didn't know Chat was there when he mentioned it. Anyway, Adrien is basically Chat Noir with all the cool parts taken away—so how is it that so many people tell _Adrien_ they're in love with him, but _Chat Noir_ has only heard it from Marinette?)

Kim's told him Marinette has a crush on Adrien. Nathaniel's told him the same (sort of), in context of Nathaniel still crushing on Marinette himself, even while happily dating Marc thanks largely to Marinette: what Marc actually said was he wouldn't mind a threesome, but he doubted Marinette would go for that, and (judging by how Nathaniel wouldn't look at Adrien after realizing Adrien heard this) Adrien wasn't meant to hear Nathaniel's reply that Marc plus Nathaniel is not greater than or equal to Adrien. Even Alix has said Marinette's madly in love with Adrien, though she assured him first he didn't hear it from her.

Marinette is one of Adrien's best friends. Adrien being able to think of his friends in the plural is an incredible enough gift, and having so many he can pick out more than one as something special is purely amazing, and knowing he can name _Marinette_ as one of the special ones is—awe-inspiring. He doesn't know what he would do if she _were_ in love with Adrien, or if it were safe for Chat Noir to be Marinette's secret love and not just her secret friend, because if Ladybug ever stops lying to herself about her being in love with Chat Noir—

But it doesn't matter, because everyone telling Adrien that Marinette loves him and is just afraid to tell him so…they're lying. She's never lacked courage. She lets people know exactly what she feels about them, usually in so many words.

If she loved him, he'd know.


	2. what is lost in interpretation

Of course Ladybug loves Chat Noir. It isn't the way he wants, she knows, and it isn't something she can explore, isn't something she can encourage to grow, however much she might want to—they have a job to do, and the safety of Paris is too important.

That doesn't make Chat Noir any less precious to her.

Chat loves Paris as fiercely as she does: it's clear from everything he does for their city. Their first day—if it _was_ his first day, but she knows the Ladybug and Black Cat Miraculouses are rarely active separately, so she's almost certain he met Plagg in the same hour she met Tikki—Chat didn't even hesitate. They met; they saw enough destruction in the distance to locate Stoneheart; he bounded in that direction with hardly a moment's pause, and that only because Ladybug had to ask what he was doing, where he was going—because _Ladybug_ was hesitant.

And the next day, he cannot have known how true it was or wasn't that Paris needed _them_ , needed Chat Noir, needed Ladybug herself; he knew she was doubting herself, he knew Officer Raincomprix was only being truthful when he said she'd already failed, and he knew Ladybug wasn't going to succeed unless Chat believed she _could_ strongly enough for both of them. Officer Raincomprix's gunnery squad was only going to make things worse, and no one else had _any_ ideas. Ladybug was the only option Paris _had_ at that moment. Chat Noir made it work.

She doesn't understand why he trusts her so unflinchingly. Why he always has.

The reverse, well, that's obvious: Chat is always where Ladybug needs him, when she needs him to be there. Always, with few exceptions; Gorizilla was the worst by far, and even then, she can hardly blame Chat Noir for getting to a few battles more slowly than she wanted when so often Ladybug herself is the one running late. Nor can she fault him for taking hits when it's necessary to shield her, though she can certainly argue that in any given instance it wasn't necessary. Ladybug can employ Miraculous Cure. Chat Noir cannot. She does not have to like this calculation in order to agree with it.

That is, Chat Noir cannot employ Miraculous Cure unless he removes his ring and dons her earrings to channel Tikki's power instead of Plagg's. If the tactical situation is desperate enough to risk both their secret identities, to reveal at least hers to him—and if Ladybug herself has been taken out of play, it may well be—then that option is on the table. She hasn't mentioned it. If it's necessary, she knows he'll think of it himself. He loves Paris too much to do otherwise.

He loves her, too, he says. Ladybug can't be sure whether to believe him. So often he's jocular enough saying it she has no idea whether he means it. Far too often he is too wrapped up in flirting with her to focus on the battle. She tells him to stop and he _doesn't_ , or he stops but only for a battle or three. He's gotten himself killed before. He's nearly gotten her killed: Ladybug refuses to blame Chat Noir for summoning Cataclysm while under akuma influence and coming after her with it, but—

Dark Cupid, in particular: she's pretty sure the reason she didn't see the arrow aimed for her until it hit him is because she was listening to him trying to ask her on a date. Not that she could entertain the idea of agreeing, but even so, he could have waited until the akuma was dealt with. Until there were no more dangerously urgent matters needing their attention. How can he say he loves her while he keeps _doing_ things that could kill them both?

It's possible, she supposes, Chat Noir simply…doesn't know how to love someone. He did say "most adults do, anyhow" when Ladybug told the Bubbler adults love and care for their children, and she doesn't think he meant her to hear it. The time Marinette accidentally got him invited to meet her parents as a prospective boyfriend might, he tried to play it smooth, but the whole thing went so awkwardly it almost has to have been his first time. (That it was her first time too—if she isn't counting inviting Adrien over to practice for the Mecha Strike tournament, which she is not because Adrien _still_ has no idea about her crush—is entirely immaterial.) And the way Chat lights up every time she touches him for no reason other than affection—he can't have many people who care for him.

Ladybug might maybe possibly go a little overboard with the affectionate touching. But she can't _give_ him anything else. She doesn't dare make him anything that isn't meant for eating, for fear someone (probably Marinette) will see a tall young blonde man wearing her gift and _know_. She already spends as much time with him as she dares, and probably more than is safe, more than she can afford without cutting something else important out.

If she loved Chat Noir the way he wants her to, maybe that would be enough. Maybe the time they spend together would be enough to make him happy. Maybe her heart would be a gift precious enough to be what he deserves.

She can't give him that, though. And every time Chat makes her life harder by flirting mid-battle or behaving as though she _does_ love him and knows it and simply wants to hurt him by refusing to admit it, that makes it a little more painful to wonder: if it weren't for Adrien, would she love Chat Noir?

But she does love him, however platonically. And she does need him. So she'll give him all the friendly affection he needs, and it won't be enough, it will _never_ be enough, she _knows_ it will never be enough—

Why can't her friendship be enough?

* * *

She can't talk to him; she cannot even truthfully tell him there is more to his photos on her walls than that he is a friend and she is a fan. She can't touch him more often or more affectionately than she does anyone else—not without his knowing what it means and wanting her to. She can't spend time with him—that is not his fault nor hers, and how selfish would it be of her to ask him to take time he could spend with several friends and reserve it for her alone? She makes him gifts but she rarely gives them to him, and the one he likes best—the blue scarf for his birthday—he doesn't even know it's her work. As for doing things for him—that works better with words alongside, and time, and for him she has neither: unless she is Ladybug, who must keep him safe, who must treat him no differently than she does anyone else _to_ keep him safe.

No wonder Adrien thinks Marinette is just a friend. When has she ever told him differently?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me on [Dreamwidth](https://alexseanchai.dreamwidth.org/) and [Tumblr](http://alexseanchai.tumblr.com/)


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